Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Investigation. Really?

Noise. A lot of noise, all over the world. A noisy, turbulent world is vehemently protesting and demanding an investigation of Israel's behavior, the acts of the Israel's naval commandos who went on board to shoot and kill, and of the officers who commanded them and of the government which sent them and of the siege of Gaza because of which everything happened.

Binyamin Netanyahu and Ehud Barak sat down with their friends and associates and gave it a lot of thought. They discussed and consulted and conducted a lot of calls across the Atlantic and finally resolved: There will be an investigation! Yes, there definitely will be one. There will be a respectable retired judge. There will be two distinguished professors. There will also be distinguished observers from abroad. An especially distinguished observer will be the leader of the Protestant Unionists from Northern Ireland, who just two weeks ago join the "Friends of Israel Association" initiated by Netanyahu's associate Dore Gold.

There will certainly be a Commission, a neat and dignified one. And an Investigation? There will be an Investigation too, just a small little bit of investigation. No, there will be no investigation of the Prime Minister and the Minister of Defense and their doings. God forbid, an investigation might have even found something which would have hurt them politically.

Nor will the Commission deal with any soldiers or officers. Members of the Commission will not get to see or hear anyone in uniform. The Army will conduct any such investigation in its own way, thank you, and provide the Commission whatever material it would consider appropriate.

And the activists who were on the boats? Them, the Commission will certainly not see. After all, the State of Israel had already decided, even ahead of any investigation, that they are dangerous terrorists. If any of them dare to approach Israel's boundaries, they will not get to the Commission's halls, but to a detention cell where they will stay for quite a long time.

But still, an investigation there will be. There certainly will be. Commission members will thoroughly investigate the little crumbs which the government left them, and will eventually submit their carefully reasoned and respectable conclusions.

And what is this upstart UN Secretary General doing here, rudely unsatisfied with our respectable Commission of Inquiry and goes on pushing for an International Commission. What is this supposed to mean?

Quiet, gentlemen! Quiet! Do not disturb, there is an investigation going on. Please stand patiently in line!